The Cosmos

I watched my mind float from the unconscious cosmos of raw infinity
Into a somewhat random mess of fate
I watched the growth of my body progress
As the maze alike, slender, fragile mind stretched awakened progressing thru the years
Cautious yet true, Shy yet pulsing, curious yet dark
And unravel small fractions of merciless reality
I watched my mind find joy and peace in itself
I watched the cosmos refloat and drench my scarred, fragile, startled, overwhelmed overly conscious mind
And create a path back to genesis and grant the greatest gift of all
Creativity

I watched life tangle it's mysterious tentacles and strangle my heart
I watched my mind suffer and cry and realize
I watched the awakening of the insurmountable strength and love floating to join it hand by hand

I watched my mind discover and rejoice in the middles of insanity
I watched my mind fight against itself as it's demons where born
Amid the drenching dark blue sea of loneliness
And sit in a island regretting, taunting, blaming…
I watched my mind lose itself in guilt and fear
Repeatedly stabbing itself
And poisoning itself with garlic green stars
Dragged out to a chaotic slippery stripes of decisions
Exhaling in relief but tip toeing on sandy grounds with berried balloons
I watched the best of my mind explode
In multifarious fireworks of satin bells and paint
Creating pillars of sustainment and nurture
Creating by itself the imminent future

I watched my mind encounter it's quest and hopes and dreams and beauty
I watched my mind nomad in peace
I watched my mind stumble across pressure and dominance  
I watched my mind be robed of hope and be abused
I watched my mind be offended by some minor
Attempt of ridiculously weak, lost, immature, numbing whiteness
I watched my mind find a cinnamon canyon of challenge
Driven by the smell of apples and the warmth of the sun in the desert
But most importantly I watched my mind resist and endure

I watched my mind unattached itself
And walk silently in the reminisce of orange sun set in the desert
Wandering towards the cold blue of the night of lowliness and possibilities
I watched my mind build the first concrete base for itself and it's coherence
I watched it be tricked and trapped
Charging well-manifested creations into the blustery nothingness

I watched it chase and be chased
I watched it build a armor from the stars in the cosmos
I watched my mind fall in love
I watched my mind be tossed and turned
Teased and battered over and over and over and over and over again
I watched it persist, alone
I watched if fight back, in vain
I watched it doubt, repeatedly
I watched it cry, silently
I watched it forgive, and be charged
I watched it decrypt, only to find pain
I watched it lose itself
And reach back to the numbing nothingness of The Cosmos,

And there breathe…

I watched my mind tire and give in
I watched my mind go silent


For a while


I watched my mind encounter itself and breathe!
I found it to accept the overwhelming satisfactory beginnings of itself!
I watched it stand up from insanity, attachment, love, confusion, hate, loss, fear, accommodation and:
Break free

 I watched my mind endure and change within its possibilities growing attachments
Of rusty machinery between impossibilities and discourage
I watched it become strong; yet scared, scared; yet determined
I watched it sacrifice everything for itself
I watched it hurt its extensions…
I watched it leave

I watched it become disappointed
I watched it confront it's past
I watched it loose
I watched it front lowliness  
Then win
Then lose
I watched it try to move mountains
And succeed
I watched it accept loss…
And compromise
I watched it grow stronger and greener for every day
I watched it make disgusting mistakes
And still try to forgive itself  

I watched it return only for politeness
I watched it learn
I watched it find even more difficult obstacles
I watched it be tossed into a somewhat
Precipice of pit
And swim desperately, wondering if it would make it
I watched it find air
And still trying to breathe
I watched the sun kiss it's face
I watched my mind finally sleep

I watched my mind take "The path less traveled by"
And I hope it makes all the difference